What a few weeks it has been …hence no blogs !!
First week of school began for my oldest 2 last week with them moving into year 3 and year 1. My littlest one went into a bigger class at kindy which reality kicked in that my youngest one isn’t a baby anymore. It was a tough time that first day of school and it was a tough week before school started with eye appointments, the last run around for school stuff, dentist appointments and finding that my oldest was suffering from anxiety about school and what class she was in and who was her teacher.
I noticed random stress attacks she was having about random things like thinking she was going to choke in her sleep and die, i also noticed every time she began to think or contemplate about future events she would rub her fingers and thumbs together. So we worked hard with preparing her with what was going to happen and giving her an opal to put in her pocket to rub when she got anxious at school, which helped tremendously. Lucky for me her best friend was in her class which made the first day a lot easier !!!
I contemplated a lot of things about being a school mum last week more than i usually do. This then lead to my anxiety to flare up which properly did not help matters with my oldest. Actually pondered on my parenting skills and if the decisions that i make are the right choices which all parents wonder every time a decision has to be made with children. There was more though that week, i made different decisions that i chose to make which i don’t usually do.
One decision i had to make was the decision about placing my children into an ipad class at school. I wasn’t going to bring it up because its one of those conflicting discussions either you like technology or you don’t and everyone has different views and different opinions. My view for my children to be in an ipad class was clear to me and that answer was “No” and the reason i said no to this is my complete own decision that i did not want my children relying on technology i wanted them to be able to confidently know how to function with using a pencil and paper and read hard cover books before introducing a simple tool like an ipad (Again my veiw not against anyone that has ipads for their kids) , and also having the responsibility on keeping these devices safe all the time. Now my oldest lost it when she found out that one of her friends were in the ipad class and she wasn’t….I was the worst mum in the world which then lead to my annoying little voice in my head saying….”oh Amanda your poor daughter is going to miss out because of you !!!” Did i make the wrong choice by not letting her to join this class…but for the first time i stood my ground and stood by what i believed in!!!
So standing by my word i decided no technology…Only parents have the technology (phones and the laptop) and went and bought heaps of second hand board games and made Saturday Night Family night, with a family meeting to discuss the kids chores and rules around the home and then playing board games as a family….It was great !!!
Until 2nd week of school and my oldest comes home with all these notes with passwords to online homework. 80% of the homework is online ……..SHIT !!!! Then my little voice comes back “Oh Amanda you should have done the Ipad class that is what the world is coming to …you should of said yes” PISS OFF VOICE !!!….
SO 15 MINS ON THE LAPTOP EACH NIGHT WITH READING HARD COVER BOOKS AND THAT WAS OUR AGREEMENT AND I HAVE STOPPED MY NAZI TECHNOLOGY STANCE LOL !!
But geez its hard work…That felt like a life time of decisions just there and she is only 8 and with 8 comes this massive attitude where they talk back and question every little decision you make….I even thought of tossing a coin from now on to make my decisions lol. So with little miss attitude ok with school, the technology craze and anxiety she is ok …but still has the attitude lol.
So that was rant one wait til you here rant two !!!
So this year as you do i know everyone says it…”This year i want to lose weight and be fit and healthy” Yeah yeah “OK i’ll try”….So i will start to use my Gym membership that i got in June 2014 and i have only been once to a yoga class (which i quiet enjoyed and will go again one day). My girlfriends posted a pic of them going to Netball so i thought….I can play netball its been 8 years and the last time i played i tore my Achilles ten-dent and was in cast for 3 months with a 8 month old and just found out i was pregnant and it was Christmas time ….It was the worst time of my life!!! But i thought i have done exercise and im ok i can give it a go surely i will be ok….So I bought a netball skirt…All sorted with my uniform….. first week was cancelled due to the weather (should of taken the hint ) then got pumped up for Monday Night to come around again…ate healthy that morning and was excited to feel that ball in my hands again…..2 minutes on the court and POP …………SHIT, F*!?, DAMN IT….. oh no i think i did it again…..I limped of the court with an embarrassed feeling..that voice again..”Oh Amanda you fat unhealthy thing couldn’t even last a quarter on the court” i stayed strong, calm (if anyone knows me i keep things to myself) I was in pain lots of pain but no one knew…..they just though i hurt myself no biggy …..I limped across the road as we parked a far way from the courts….we said goodbye to the team as my girlfriend and i walked alone to the car….then i lost my shit began crying like a bubbling mess…..”What have i done oh my god i have done it again , how can i be in a cast for 3 months no driving with 3 kids and work and all the commitments i have…..my husband is going to kill me ” Anxiety attack …anxiety attack !!!! I think my girlfriend was a bit shocked as i am not a crying type…i feel like i’m Chuck Norris sometimes…”I ain’t got time to bleed”…..anyway went home cried like a pussy, husband was upset stressing how was he going to do everything plus do what he does….So i made the tough decision to go to the hospital to find out what the damage was so i could plan the rest of my 3 months of hell….. Shit…how do i get there can’t take the kids out of bed to go to the hospital…..I’m going to have to call my girlfriend to take me (I hate asking people to do things for me… So i made the phone call …stomach twisting as i hate putting people out of their way just for me)…..But they came yes “They” i had a little entourage to come and support me at the hospital….. long story short….5 hrs later, realizing how much my friends love me and only a torn calf…which is bad but so much better then what i was expecting. Even the doctor i had was shocked with my reaction…….the conversation went something like this…..Doctor…”So Amanda do you want the good news or the bad news?” Me (my voice saying just tell me…. shit i’m tired, i’ve been waiting in the hospital with 30 sick people and im in pain !!) “Just tell me”I say……Doctor..” It is not your achilles” Me “Oh my God Thank Fuck for That” Tears rolling down my face with enjoyment. Doctor….”So i see your happy with that (laughing) but you have torn you calf Couple of weeks and you will be fine” Me jumping (not physically, mentally) Yay !!!…. So one of my girlfriends picked me up and i went home and slept.
The next morning…because i am like Chuck Norris remember…..I get up to my 3 children who are looking at me like a fool with my oldest lecturing me “I told you , you shouldn’t of played netball” …Yeah yeah…..Limping around…. my day went like this…
1. Showers, get dressed, breakfast, make 4 lots of lunches and clean the house before we leave (ouch…calf in pain by this stage)
2. Drop youngest at kindy then the 2 oldest ones at school
4. Pick up kids…shit meeting with Miss attitudes teacher….Hobble Hobble crutches suck so many stairs ok i made it….
5. Hurry Hurry get youngest from kindy in the car to go home to pick up the hubby and go to first season of footy training for the middle one
6. Just made it on time ..hobble hobble over the fields and far away…ahhh sit for an hr
7. Right,… on the way home …..get home, showers…dinner….
8. Oh Shit…my calf is the triple the size it was(i have like elephant legs … so imagine the sight) mmmmmm…. ice ice and lots of ice
9. I should ice but trying to get the youngest to go to sleep by herself without being patted….in and out of bed with all the excuses under the sun…i need to wee, i need a drink, my belly hurts, i miss you, i love you, i’m scared…..oh my god just go to bed !!!
11. BED 5 mins in bed The youngest is crawling in the bed…” I love you mummy so much i sleep with you” …ME goodnight !!
So an eventful day i did take the next day of and rested my calf and wow…when you slow down and rest it makes a lot of difference !!!
So i blog tonight ranting on some of the small minor troubles i went through in the last week and as i reflect as my job as a mum….i think i have done ok…I have survived i made choices some right and some wrong…but i leave you with this…..Being a parent doesn’t mean you have to be wonder woman to your kids, just a smile on your face and being with your kids is enough….You have done your job as a Parent !!!
Let see what next week brings…Nighty Night Chuck Norris out!